May 2013
spookymormon:
spookymormon:
my mom always texts me rude things so ive just started replying with an emoji of an eggplant and it gets her so pissed it’s great
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cosmo sex tip #1925
enriquesmole:
call him “old sport” just as he’s about to orgasm
earthnation:
people who have the same name as me are competition
niallhortonhearsawho:
a girl walks into a classroom wearing a spaghetti strap shirt. immediately every boy within a 50 yard radius gets a raging erection. the teacher attempts to present a lesson but to no avail, no one can hear over the sound of every male student masturbating to this girl’s shoulders. why couldn’t she just wear a long sleeved shirt
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cleophatrajones:
shutupaubrey:
team “i wore this yesterday but i’m going to a different place so it doesn’t matter”
Co-captain here…
tr3ndyc00l:
apparently my school made the senior dinner great gatsby themed
because what better theme for a graduation party than the inaccessibility of the american dream
geeksotospeak:
99 percent of the times i see a cat, i have to drop whatever the hell i’m doing and acknowledge that there’s a cat and say hi to the cat and walk up to the cat and try to pet the cat
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